Sorry if it’s kinda crappy, i was really tired while writing it~~

REGRET

author: admin DiNa
pairing: Jungkook x Y/N
words: 1700+

Jeon Jungkook broke my heart.
The story behind it is boring and something you can read about in every soppy romance book but what really mattered was that my beloved boyfriend was cheating on me and the worst of it all was that he began doing it a year after we started dating. I was really scared of being alone but I prefered that than to know that he was lying to me in my face. I was not a person who was going to bear with something like this. I felt the rage boiling inside me. I gave myself a few moments to think and breathe, so that I was sure I wasn’t going to do something stupid because of a guy.

Guys were everywhere.

This was what I was trying to tell myself but for some reason my mind wasn’t listening. The only guy I wanted was Jungkook and I couldn’t accept the reality. I was blaming my thoughts but my heart wasn’t ready to let go either. Everything was screaming to me to go back and hug him and give him all my love so he could love me back but when after a few minutes I started thinking normally again, I took the way home.

It has been a month since I saw my cheating boyfriend. He had been sending me tons and tons of messages but I just refused to even look at my phone. My friends were getting worried but as selfish as it may sound, I didn’t care at all.
Maybe a part of me wasn’t accepting their concern because of their close relationship with the one who made me this way. My best friends were Bangtan themselves. Namjoon and his girlfriend Bo Gi have been trying to get to me for the last two weeks and Hoseok and Jimin even came to my house and begged me to open so we could talk. I didn’t answer the calls, I didn’t open the door, I just slept all day and the thoughts of Jeon Jungkook were suffocating me little by little. 

This day was no different than the last one,or the one before that… But for some reason I felt the need to breathe again, so just after I woke up, I dialed a number I knew as good as my own and waited for an answer.
‘Y/N ! Where have you been? I’ve been so worried and don’t you dare hang on me, you little brat!’ Jimin started screaming at me and I laughed weakly. Park Jimin was the pure air I needed and I knew it as soon as he answered my call. I heard voices behind Jimin and I knew that everyone else who was at home was listening to what I had to say. They deserved at least that, so I replied, trying to sound as normal as I could considering I haven’t spoken to anyone for four weeks.
'Sorry for being,um…out of it these days. It’s just that I was,well, a bit frustrated with some things.’ My sentence was not inappropriate when it came to the words I used, but while I was saying it, I spat every word and it sounded pretty vulgar. I could sense that Jungkook was somewhere out there with them, listening, so I made sure to sound as angry and pissed as possible. I heard everyone laughing awkwardly on the other line so I went along and laughed as well.

I opened my front door for the first time in a month and a half. Outside it was hot and sunny and it was pretty convenient for me because I could put on my sunglasses to hide my dark  eye circles so that no one would say anything about it. After a few minutes I found myself in front of the hair salon and I opened the door. My old self was going to stay with Jungkook so to be free again I had to change. I had already made an appointment, so I sat in the prepared place. The hairdresser knew me and how much I loved my long thick hair so she wasn’t even going to ask about the style I wanted; to that moment I never really cut my hair shorter than mid-back but when she was about to start carefully chopping off my split endings, I stopped her and
smiled brightly. ‘Don’t you think it’s pretty hot outside? Why not cut a bit more?’

Today,I decided to finally meet my friends. After the hairdresser and a good two months at home, I was finally ready to take the past and shake it off.
I talked with Seokjin earlier that day and we decided to meet in the afternoon at the park in the end of Seoul. It was my favorite park and everyone knew it so I really appreciated that they understood me and went along.
When I got to the park, it was already around four, so I was late. I fastened up a little bit but with every step I was taking I felt more and more unsure.
Was I strong enough to meet him now? I threw away those thoughts and I put on a smile as if everything was fine. It wasn’t.

I saw them under our favorite tree. They were laughing and my heart was feeling at ease until my eyes met him. He hasn’t changed much except for his hair color. He was smiling as bright as before but something was off. After so much time with him, I knew him good enough to know when he was just pretending. I felt guilty, but secretly I was happy he was not fine either.
I finally opened my mouth to speak. ‘Hey, you kids! ’ I screamed and they immediately turned their heads towards me and their eyes widened when they saw my hair.
Now, it was shoulder lenght and it was bouncing happily as I was walking.
Hoseok was the first to snap out of it and he ran towards me and with a battle cry, he hugged me as hard as he could, lifting me in the air and spinning me around. I just couldn’t help it, I genuinely missed this. ‘You don’t look too ugly now, Y/N!’ He teased when he let me on the ground. I punched his shoulder playfully and just like that I felt normal again.
I was finally ready to free myself from the strong grip of the past and start anew.

We decided to go to the near cafe and drink some Americano.
'When did you decide to do this? Daebak!’ Namjoon whistled and I smiled and shrugged. 'I didn’t really think about it a lot, I was just hot.’
'Oooh, but I found you hot even before you chopped half of your hair off.’ Taehyung added and wiggled his eyebrows. That idiot was always making me giggle.
’I don’t like it,though.’ Jungkook finally spoke for the first time but I just smiled brightly and when I opened my eyes and stared at him, he was able to see that he had lost me.
His eyes twitched and he excused himself. I saw him going outside and lighting up a cigarette.
’Wow, since when did he start smoking?’ I raised my eyebrows, careful not to sound too worried.
’Since his beloved girlfriend broke up with him because he was acting like an a-hole’ Suga spoke quietly and they all nodded. I was torn between crying and laughing so I just kind of did both. Then and there in the middle of the cafe, I showed how much I wasn’t over him. The boys tapped my shoulder and gave me a napkin but all I could stare at was the back of my ex.

After I stopped crying and Jungkook came back in, we decided to go to the boys’ apartment and drink some more.This time they went for the wine and I just drank juice.
After a few glasses, Hoseok was drunk and he started singing and laughing really hard. Everyone was was a little drunk,too,except for me and Kookie because we were not  fans of the alcohol.
Out of nowhere, he cried ‘Let’s play truth or dare!’ Everyone was up for it except me but I had to go along.The game was funny, until it was Hoseok’s turn. He grinned devilishly and pointed at me. ‘YOU! I dare you to kiss Jimin!’ My eyes went wide and Jimin was shocked, too but I suddenly decided to do it so I jumped out of  my seat and I was about to touch my lips to Jimin’s when someone grabbed my waist,lifted me bridal style and locked us up both in the bathroom. I knew it was Jungkook when I saw his arms. I knew him good enough to even recognize him by his long,slender fingers and veins that were popping out when he lifted me.
’I’m sorry. I can’t let you do that.’ He said quietly and kind of breathlessly.
I felt anger rush up,mixed with a bit of happiness that I didn’t have to make out with a childhood friend of mine.The anger was stronger,though.
’You do not have any right to stop me, Jungkook.’ I cried but tears were welling in my eyes. ’ W-why did you do that to me? Why did you break me like this?’ I was starting to breath heavily remembering everything I felt the first month after our break-up. ‘And most of it all..Why can’t I forget you?’
His eyes were shining and he was close to crying, too. He closed the gap between us and hugged me. I let him do it and I realized he was crying on my shoulder.
When he was done, he whispered. ‘You don’t even know how sad I’ve been. I thought I was going to be fine, I wanted some fun but after I lost you…well,everything  went downhill after that.’
He took a shaky breath and continued. ‘I’m so sorry. I know you might not let me back in, but I’m so sorry. I love you…’